PERSONAL AND POMPOUS BULL

Writing with music in the background, the luxury/decadence of this life. A wonderful feeling moves across my vision and soul. I understand how different the lives on this planet participate in their day to day affairs. Each person with reasonable living conditions partakes to their own affairs in their daily schedule of living. A wide variety of living conditions persist, normal for the style of life their accustomed too.
I realize the anger that luxury/decadence generates. Humility should come from poverty. A simple life style. Without wealth, without baggage. Humility comes from loving the earth and understanding that you are but one in a mass of living souls. Only one. Sometimes happy, sometimes lonely, sometimes mad. Loving the existence of life on this planet. Wealth and poverty are different. Humble is not only crawling on the ground or a feeling after pain. Humble is knowing that you are only one of many, placing your being in the crowd, knowing that you can't always be right. Humility comes from knowing that I can not be them, I can only be me, I can not be them. I want to be them, I want their intelligence, I want their talent, I want their grace, I want their love. That is humiliating. That is putting us in the place provided by our existence.
***
Tomas an Views About Life
 God was a statement made by man to describe the world to which he does not understand.
 God was a statement made by man to describe the world to which he does understand.
 Religion teaches one values, morals and laws.
 Freedom, you are free to do as we wish, but mind values, morals and laws.
 All the great religions and philosophies take you on one path, one enlightenment, one salvation.
 Each is the only path.
 There are many paths. Take yours.
 Man is vain to be clean and to multiply.
 Man is the dominate species.
 These statements are all true and false.
 When we open our mouth to speak, we have something to say.
 These statements are man made materials.
 Your truth is your own.
 Man is horny for a purpose.
  Have a good time, have fun and respect mankind.
 Quote "Love the one your with" Unquote.
 Sow to speak.
***
A place where all substance is pure, a Judy Collins song. There is a heaven on earth, there is a heaven in the sky, there is a heaven in our minds. Call it the name that is your favorite, peace, nirvana,"Heaven and Hell", the dust to dust, the yin and yang whatever you choose. Yours is the only place in existence. Don't bother to argue, it is not explainable, but you do understand what you think about life and it's meanings here on earth and elsewhere.
***
I did not drop out, I was different from a very early age. You can see that I am wondering and wandering in my life from an early age. I was seeking answers? Someone finally pointed the way to the answers in 1967.
 The great experience of having dropped out or flowed out as in my case, is that you have the luxury of finding inner peace, the community of sharing. The great joy of knowing that the ground under us will feed us. Nobody will starve in America with a little knowledge.
 Your community is under you wherever you go. If you are a freebird your community is with you and under you. If you work during the week and go to a commune on weekends, your community is under you. If you work full time ( nine to five), your community is under you.
 Do the right thing, be good, and remember when a man opens his mouth, he has something to say.
 ***
  Poverty
 When you are young you look at the world thinking that you can find answers by being whatever you want to be. When a person gives up all wealth for just a brief moment of time, say a year. They become poor. They become poor because they want it to be so. You think that since you are now poor, you now understand the poor. For a time mentally you think that you are poor. You think that you understand all the poor people in the world. What you understand is that you are poor. What you may never understand is that how poor some people are. Studies in time, are just that, studies in time.
 At Tolstoy we put on blindfold for a day. We wanted to see what it was like to be blind. What happened was that everyone wanted to take off  the blindfolds and see.
***
Have you ever seen the beautiful marble fountains in Rome? Angels, Saints, Statues with the Wisp of the Gardens, real and marble birds flying about, sprays of water falling in splendor. Above this all, high up on the fountain, we see the little boy his body arched, he sprays the world. He lets us know what he thinks. For some reason this reminds me of our trickle down economy.
 The ideal working condition, you work for the love of labor, no wages, because none are needed.
Your love for life and this world puts you in an ideal situation, the man for all the seasons. The trickle down will take care of you. You have no want, you are a good man. The people that know will take care of you. Have no fear these are responsible people. There are no greedy men, these men handle large sums of money for the good of mankind. Handling such large sums of money require healthy living expenses.
Who would ever take advantage of a lover of mankind like you?
The parking lot is huge. I get out of the car, shove the loose cart into the underground tunnel. I hear the hook grab the cart, I hear it rattle for a while as it heads back to the store. I walk across the lot as a cart enters the WalSmart. I enter through the other door. The store is huge, I see twenty GrandMothers with their stockings rolled to their shaking knees working the checkout lines. These women are here to meet new friends and to pad there skimpy Social Security checks.
What kind of benefits do these GrandMothers get? A cup of hot cocoa and a donut, I assume, should do fine, they are lucky to have their part time jobs. Health care is provided for an extra fee of 80 dollars a week. These are ideal working condition, they work for the love of labor, minimum wages, because not much is needed. They can bring in their granddaughters in to help them, but they cannot be paid. Their love for life and this world puts them in an ideal situation, the women for all the seasons. The trickle down will take care of them. They have no want, they are a good women. The people that know will take care of them. Have no fear these are responsible people. Above this all, high up on the fountain, we see the little boy his body arched, he sprays the world. He lets us know what he thinks. For some reason this reminds me of our trickle down economy.
+
Reaganomics: The decline of the social heart.
Dump them crazies on the street, let them fend for themselves. Fire a working class union man for wanting proper representation and a voice to speak. The beginnings of a thirty nine hour week, the part time worker. The part time worker needs no compensation or health benefits. The removal of the arts from our schools for economic reasons. Going back to the economic slave labor force with volunteers for America. The decline of the health care system of America through economics.
Reaganomics: The decline of the social heart.
***

December 1, 2000
Christmas has turned for the worse in Marion, Ky. The Trickle Down Economy has trickled down upon our local stone company. Their worse fears were realized when their leader and employer laid them off yesterday.
This community has tried to move gradually into the future while holding on to its great human values. The local school is second to none.
This community has been stepped on and stepped on and come out with its values intact.
It seems that employers come here only for the labor they can exploit. If they cannot exploit the labor they leave to where they can.
I may assume that this is done over all the United States.

***
An entourage of security.
An entourage of security, baggage carried over fifty years of living. Do we really need the weight/cloak?
 Is it a white and blue sky, a home with children, a meeting at two, a garden to break, a dragon to slay, that secures us to the ones we love.
Why do the young wander and wonder with or without the blessings of parents?
Could it be that there is no baggage?
I heard at least ten songs on the radio saying, "Let the Children Play".
Why do we listen to these songs?
Let them go in peace, offer them love.
****
This is a wish.
Why is there a separation between the state of minds of different people?
 I guess I answer my own question, we are all different.
 Why do we divide ourselves into groups? We do this with great precision. Different people have different beliefs. When a group shares a common belief they may end up all clumped together. I want to be part of a group, but I want my freedom to think and believe as I choose. I keep placing myself with the community of man. Thinking that some young man will read my writing and say " I am free to be one human being in touch with the world for good, not evil" This is a wish.
***
The state we are in is forced to be in requirement. No matter how we try
to be free, the state (government) forces us to be in line with their
law. We are required by law to uphold the rules. Penalty is a fine,
imprisonment or a trip to a funny farm. Sometimes the removal of said
body to parts unknown works.
This document is a compromise of thought. Maybe by hearing an opinion
the confined world can be free to think of a solution.
badaba tomas
***
I have a hard time with anarchy.
Anarchy is some thing I have a hard time understanding. In one form I see it as a way to express your ideas and ways of living. The freedom to be. This thought works well under the umbrella of the constitution. An expression and ideal protected from other extremes.
The other extreme of anarchy, I see the rebels roaming about the hills of our states killing humans because they do not believe in their form of anarchy.

 ***
Seeing the aerial view of Morningstar Ranch brings back some memory of how high I was, but not always as high as you think. I have walked those paths with friends and lovers. So peaceful, pleasant and profound.
 The times and the views have changed. Some young man eager to change the world will stand in my face and challenge me with a finger. "I want you to..!", he'll say like uncle Sam.
 I'm dressed in my work clothes, the uniform of the nine to five generation. I've gained weight something I never dreamed of doing. I've tried to make the world a better place in simple ways, like saying good morning, getting along with my fellow man and giving people a pleasant attitude. I have not made big changes like so many of you, but I have done some part in my own way.
 I'm  anti-violent. I give the world my work. I realize that we are a dominant species, so killing animals is a job for some, not mine.
 I am a conduit for ideas. I try not to preach my way of thinking, but I do anyway. Do your own thing, but do it good, not evil.
 I am searching these web pages for people with similar ideals. People that can create a bridge of ideals for the young people to cross in this world.
 Step back away from the violence, look back, don't fall in a hole. Move ahead in your dream.
***
The body and trauma. Three years ago during the winter of 1996, I slipped and fell on some ice. As I was stepping over a cast iron gear, my back foot slipped ( on some grease and ice) out from under me. If you see a track and field hurdler, you can see my position over the bar as I fell doing the splits. No major damage, just a great amount of trauma over my body. Last year at this time, I had a difficult time doing heavy chores, my muscles would pull, stopping me from exercising or working hard. I realized this year that I would have to limber the body with minor continued stretches. Minor continuing exercise. I am still heavy in body, but my mental state will lead me to a proper frame of body and mind. Thanks for the thought.
***
Living with Difficulty
As days go by and life confronts you. The word difficulty has more meaning. At some point life threatens your exitence. If a moving object hits you, you may die. Laws create places in the mind to go. These places are easily reached by moving to a peaceful place of mind.
I can hear a hard nose saying, " I'll send you there brother".
Step over the line.

****
This is what I wrote today speaking of life we live in KY. This is the bible belt, everyone is trying to save us from doom and hellfire. Laurel is a little fed up, she wants to move. She fears that the jobs available eslewhere are not to be had. I can live anywhere, but I have to do something. I wrote this about the struggle of the people who are not the chosen, in their eyes.
A little bitter, but pure emotion.
+
Two Strange Birds
 They were needed by the community but they thought they were shunned by the community by their attitude toward life.
 Both were not appealing to look at blessed by nature with the difference at birth. It was never their fault, but only the way the cards fell. .
 Both were tormented by childhood bullies and friends. They learned to laugh at the butt of the jokes.
           He was laid back, tolerant, just like putty to be molded.
 She was strong, a women in charge, take no prisoners.
 Both excelled in thought but cringed in fear of being rejected.
 Though time had tempered their fears, they are both longing to meet old friends.
 During the sixties, the warmth and love of the Freebirds helped cure some of the ache. As Hippies they danced the songs of the sixties apart and together. Loving and understanding each other they wed.
They raised a family, two gorgeous children with kittens everywhere.
 They worked with great intensity to excel in what they did. They were rewarded for their knowledge, but still they felt shunned quietly.
 It has always been felt, the fear we humans put on ourselves. We both wonder what did we ever did to deserve this? Our strength is our understanding of man and the love of our children. We will never give up the warmth of humanity. Though we are quietly shunned.
An emotional ride. Tomorrow will be different.
***
Freedom of Religion in the southern states  (The Bible Belt)  is non-excitant.
I have lived here for thirty years.
And the only answer I will get is "Love it or leave it."
Religious Freedom in the deep south only means that you are free to be a Christian.
Yes, you can have other choices if you want. But to the Christian you will Burn in Hell,
you will be  unsaved, unbaptized and Damned for eternity in Hell.
And to that they will say, "if that is your choice you will be shunned?"
As you can see this attitude is pure prejudice.
Young children are taught this at church and school, so that by the age of seven, anyone
not a Christian will be doomed to burn in Hell.
As you can see this attitude is also pure prejudice.
Is this what the Founding Fathers wanted?
Now let us turn the tables, let's flip the coin.
Let us step on your religious belief, you know where I'm going,
I'm going to cut the cord that binds you to your prejudice.
This is something that you have learned, kicking the lower
cast in your mind and sometimes out loud. I've heard the insults.
It is not your fault, but is something you can change for the better.
***
Great writers
 Watching a great movie or reading a great book is a great thrill.
 The writers of great expectations, weave the patterns of love and life so skillfully.
They take great care to reflect every nuisance, with great clarity and great detail.
 The writers of days gone by did not have a video camera to capture the moment in time. They skillfully weave every thread of material before them. They took years to describe  a moment in time. Are we the writers that we should envy? Do the words we speak full of truth and character. Do are words permeate the air with the perfume of thought?
 That skill can be acquired. Let's go there, let it be done.
***
expansion of the mind
 Opening new avenues of thought, expanding the mind. Learning new ways to use our brain.
Becoming smarter?
Having better recall, remembering as the great minds of our time do.
How I long to remember everything that I've seen.
You say to me," You do. It is that you do not know how to recall it."
I have just learned that I can recall a pleasant feeling or an unpleasant one.
I think actors use these tools on cue.
Just think of the tools that we possess.
But where is the can opener for the brain? Or am I just going to spill the beans.
******
The first candle
 The first candle is one wax figure.
 The letter one made of wax.
 Picture balloons moving in the rooms breeze.
You, a grown person, are watching the fire on the letter one.
The lights are dim, the color of the day is white, red and blue balloons,
wrapped gifts of gold and smiles.
 As you gaze into the fire on the letter one, you are taken into the realm of joy.
The pleasure and smell around the room is rosy and cake.
The chains of small hands dance in a circle.
You think and break the spell, they still dance.
You look and the joy again spreads into your pores.
 You wish this feeling could last forever.
 It can, make a wish.
****
You can dance
 You can dance, sway, move your body, glide, skim across the across the room on rugs.
All suggestions of youth.
 What the hell is going on?
Is my mind moving, chomping at the bit.
 Spilling the words for no apparent reason.
 Well I have to stop, set the theme of swell, then carry on.
***
  power
How do you use power? Do you control human behavior? Do you make a person kiss your ring? Do you place a women behind a curtain? Do you whip yourself to maintain a humble appearance? Do you make a women walk behind you? Do you make a man kneel, to humble himself, before a cross? Who shames you into thinking that you have sinned? Do you lay flat before an alter? Who keeps you from walking into their home after five? Who dips you in water to cleanse you soul? Does your appearance have to conform? Do you make a women wear a skirt for easy access? Who controls your mind? Who would make you die from shame? Who keeps you from doing the dishes? Who makes you walk on your knees? Who shames you? Who makes a child cry in shame? Who makes you unequal in our chain of command? Who eats bread? Who eats shoes? Who is not worthy? Who would beat a women into submission? How can we be so cruel? How do we use power?
Our thoughts and imagination create beautiful images of god. We are humbled by the sheer joy of the unknown presence of being. What could possible be so great? Our imagination? What could make us hurt our self being? Our imagination? We have created all these images.
+
Ear tags and social security numbers are similar in there use. Each provide a record for the government to use. A birth certificate provides proof of purchase. The benefits of these tags can be placed in the mind as useful. Can the government deny that you exist for lack of one of these tags? I think the government thinks they have the right to deny your existence. I do not think our founding fathers would put up with more ear tagging. I realize they had records of slaves, but hopefully slavery is past?

***
the sun day
 Somewhere, some time in the past. The evolution of the sun day was set into the calender
of ritual.
 One day was put aside to reflect ones purpose, to relieve the pressure of our daily survival.
A day to sit and watch, reflect, warmed by the comfort of being.
 Somehow, at sometime this genuine idea was abused. No fault to one person, but fault the institution of assembly.
 Some people hate the day, believing that it belongs only to the institution of assembly.
The sun day is set aside for you. It should let you set aside your wandering mind and place you in the realm of earths beauty.
Peace
***
We honor the day of your birth.
We set you apart from the crowds.
We offer gifts to you.
We celebrate the renewal of life.
***
My Grandmother
 My Grandmother called me Tomas. She taught me to be a pacifist, by her example.
My Great grandfather was a dictator. Footnote #2  She knew if I grew up arrogant, dominant, selfish, that I would be no better. She led the way to peace, by example. She knew that my father was brutal, selfish and demanding. My father was proud and stood on a pedestal, dominating everything below. My grandmother saw this, so she taught me to became a peaceful person.
 Everyone says I'm demanding, selfish and arrogant, but just imagine what I would be like if not for my grandmother.
******
 Something you should not do to the people you love
    Something you should not do to the people you love. Do not alienate yourself /being from the people you love.
al·ien·ate (³l“y…-n³t”, ³“l¶-…-) tr.v. al·ien·at·ed, al·ien·at·ing, al·ien·ates. 1. To cause to become unfriendly or hostile; estrange: alienate a friend; alienate potential supporters by taking extreme positions. See Synonyms at  estrange. 2. To cause to become withdrawn or unresponsive; isolate or dissociate emotionally: The numbing labor tended to alienate workers. 3. To cause to be transferred; turn away: “He succeeded . . . in alienating the affections of my only ward” (Oscar Wilde). 4. Law. To transfer (property or a right) to the ownership of another, especially by an act of the owner rather than by inheritance. [Latin ali¶n³re, ali¶n³t-, from Latin ali¶nus, alien. See ALIEN.] --al“ien·a”tor n.
    You have seen this done, you know of what I speak of, this does nothing for the welfare of mankind. Alienation is pointless and selfish, this does not speak of world peace. It only speaks of oppression or self oppression.
***
 I make life simple, I agree with you, I conform, I stay on a course that is simple within the laws of man. I complain when something is not right. I expect to be treated as a human being.
 I will agree that your religion is the only one. I have never seen a religion that was thought of to hurt humanity. The plan is to stay alive, live within all the rules.
 You change as time passes, your thoughts are placed in memory.
***
Work
 I have worked for the good of mankind. I have toiled to make my children good. I have worked to place my self in the good light with man. I have worked with pleasure setting the stones. These stones are there to keep the cold out. They are not there to worship. I can admire the beauty of the stone.
 Mankind pays me for my labor.

***

Golden movement, up and around.
Silk to the eye, delicate to the touch, a warm aroma.
A sence of well being.
Absorbing light through the eyes of thought.
We sit and stand assembled on the hill, the wind blows mildly through the proud tan lace.
The Golden Poppies reflect the sun, they wave to the breeze.
We watch across the canyon, we see the movement of deer in the green grass.
We gather friendship together, a family standing, sitting in the summer breeze.
No one breaks the spell, space is what was needed.
The children pull on homemade kites, the colors of rainbows sweep across our sky.
Someone is painting a picture in the far distance.
 Swirls of pleasure radiate from our being.
***

Laurel and Jesus
 I have a problem I would like somebody to help me out with.
 Laurel and Jesus are both Jewish.  I do not have a problem with that.  My problem is that Christian do not seem to like the way Laurel thinks, she being Jewish and all.  Huh?
 I do not remember anyone ever telling me that Jesus was a Christian.  I think he was Jewish, and a very good Jewish man at that.  How does this work?  The Christians worship a Jewish man named  Jesus, but the Christians do not think Laurel is . . . what? I've got a problem, so someone help me  out.
   A lot of people in this country think Jewish people are a problem, ‘cause they think Jesus was a
 good Jewish man and Christians think he is someone to worship, him being Jewish and all.  Am I
missing something?  Did I bump into a wall?  Do ya think you can explain it to me without hurting our feelings? Quit worshiping the guy and just follow his teachings.
+
Well I have done it! I have solved my own question. Laurel and I reread what we knew of Jesus.
What we found out seems very familiar to me. Well here goes. It seems to me that Jesus was an embarrassment to the community where he lived. The  politicians of the day wanted him to disappear. Kinda leave town, please, woulda fella. Like all  politicians they nitpicked and twisted schemes. Making themselves look good and washing their hands of the matters at hand. Well poor Jesus was out manned. Do as you please he says. The  politicians loved this, they whipped a lynch mob together. Frenzied the lovers of death. Well you know what happened. That is why the Jewish people are blamed for his death.

*****
Is
 this the
great plan?Is
 this the great plan.
 Building our own pyramid for
 our own state of mind.Making/writing
 it just different enough to cause a disagreement.
We pile layer upon layer of solutions on our pyramid, until
we reach the top. Then we place our own symbol on top of it. Some
of us stand back and bow in reverence to our undertaking and then pull a stone
 from our neighbors edifice. This just does not make any sence.
+
***
War
April 1999
It is very difficult to write of Peace and Goodwill when our Earth Neighborhood is being cleansed of nationalities. War is never kind to humanity. People looking for scapegoats see bombs as evil. If we put death and killing on a scale of (what is more evil), we can look back to the Second World war. A war that the U.S. and the Pope  ignored or were ignorant as to what was happening to the non Christian minorities though out Europe.
Who can condone the death of the body?
It is a difficult situation, if you are prone to violence, join the military and please heed the discipline.
If you are  non-violent and hate the bombs, then help feed the world.
***
May 4,1999
Bombing, school rampage and tornados.
If you want to know what it feels like to be in a school rampage of shooting and death, try taking a gun away from a N.R.A. member.
+
Video games are a product used by the militaries of the world to train eye and hand coordination used in weapons of war. The benefits are the protection of ones country with a ready made, well trained soldiers. The disadvantages are that a few million minds run amuck with the pleasure and rush of killing.

***
Den Mothers & Playing Catch
Women running around children, tending their needs and planning their dreams.
Men watching a ball fly into a leather mitt, a hard smack and a good feeling.
People taking the time to spend with their children. Simple roles in the good evolution of mankind.
A mothers insight
*****

We have a cat named "Sweetie", she is in constant need of attention, she is my barometer, I know when I am in need of attention. When I know I am in need of attention, then I know that the beings around me are also in need. When a cat rubs your leg and you wonder what she wants, do you think to your self and say, "Why can't she speak to me and tell me what she wants?" I think I know what she wants, but I may be wrong. We teach our children to speak.
So we may ask them what they want.
All we have to do is be around and listen.
+
How difficult is it to stand/sit and listen to a opinion of your self by someone else. They of course are venting their emotions, their aiming at you. Can you sit and listen, understanding the value of their spoken words. And you that are speaking in a great emotional amplitude/attitude. Can you contain the amplified/attitude of emotion, understanding that the being before you is a marvelous creation. Can you both vent your emotions and still love the value of human life. You can be pissed and still be human, their is no fault in that.
That is one of the values that was pick up at Tolstoy and Morningstar, you could understand the venting as speech by another human.
That is what is great about freedom of speech.
***
A point of view, a direction of sight. A line of sight. To gaze off into the far distance scene.
To see a framed picture from afar.
I see rules on a wall. I see a tan deep sea scroll on a school wall. I see tattered history tacked on a school wall. I see ten historical rules of law on a school wall.
Historical rules of law that have been past down from generation to generation. Rules to keep you from misbehaving. Simple rules to guide your point of view.
Some people see the rule as something different, depending on your point of view.
Keep them as rules of conduct, do not distort the truth behind the rules.
A point of view, a direction of sight.
Just change the name of the rules, don't be so technical, there is no law that says the name of the rules cannot be changed, compromise for the sake of good human behavior.
***

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